Being a Bride that Abides

The phrase a bride that abides is something the Lord dropped in my spirit a few months ago as I was beginning the process of wedding planning. Wow! I had begun to realize how many details are involved in putting a wedding together. As my brain was rushing through the thoughts of all I had to do, I heard Him say--"Melissa, be a bride that abides."

Part of this revelation came from a sermon I heard at Threshold. Jake was talking about the story of when Jesus made a visit to the house of Mary and Martha. He was focusing on the beauty of the response Jesus gives to Martha as she becomes overwhelmed by the dinner preparations. Jesus responds by saying, "but one thing is necessary. Mary has chosen the good portion, which will not be taken away from her" (Luke 10:42 ESV). Jesus reminds Martha that His presence is really the only thing that matters. His presence is the thing that makes the dinner of any significance. When Jesus walks in the room, how the food tastes doesn't matter, how well the house has been kept isn't important, and how everyone is dressed isn't the focus. Everything fades into the background when Jesus is around. That is, if we can actually stop to look at Him. If we actually put down our tasks and put down our dishes and look into the eyes of our Savior long enough to see that He really is the only thing that matters. He really is the one thing that is necessary. And when we see Him in the room, we realize we have found our good portion and our true love. 

And this has been the struggle of the last few months of wedding planning. The tasks and the to-do lists can seem so important and so urgent in the moment. They can seem all-consuming and at times I have found myself like Martha helplessly overwhelmed by all I have to do to prepare. As the thoughts rush through my head though, I can sense the Lord saying, "Melissa, only one thing is needed. Choose the good portion and it will not be taken away from you."

I can hear Him say it, and yet at times, it is still so easy to look the other way. We can play tricks on ourselves as we think, "...as soon as I get this done, I'll be able to sit down and focus on Jesus" or "...my mind will be so much more free if I just get this done before I read my Bible." But you know just as well as I do, that time never comes and even when that task is done, our minds can still be racing with the hundred other tasks still yet to be done. 

It can feel like this is a struggle that only we face, but even Martha, a woman who was with Jesus face-to-face was overcome by the pressures of her responsibilities. Even she, while Jesus was in the room, put her to-do list above time with her Lord. Martha can feel so relatable, but Mary is the one I pray I can continue to become. I pray I can lay down my Martha tendencies and open my eyes to see the reality Mary saw when she was with Jesus. She found her good portion and there was nothing and no one that was going to distract her or draw her attention away from her loving Savior.  

During this time of preparing for my wedding day, I have been searching the Lord's heart about what it means to be a bride that abides. What does it mean for me to be His bride first and foremost, and how does that relate to what it means to be a bride on my wedding day? He has given me some verses that have unlocked revelation about the pure and holy bridal spirit that He has placed inside of us as believers. A spirit that is made to be marked by a bridal love, devotion, and longing as she prepares and patiently awaits the day she will be fully joined with her Bridegroom.

Ephesians 5:25-27 

Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her, that he might sanctify her, having cleansed her by the washing of water with the word, so that he might present the church to himself in splendor, without spot or wrinkle or any such thing, that she might be holy and without blemish.

When thinking about a traditional, American bride, one of the first things most people think about is a white dress. I began thinking about the significance of the white dress, and this verse in Ephesians has given clarity. Being dressed in white is used to represent a beauty and purity and cleansing that is characteristic of a bride. I love the image of the Lord as our husband sanctifying us by the washing of the word. The word of God is such a powerful tool of cleansing, and I feel the Lord reminding me of the importance of being in the word in this season. Of course, reading the word is important in every season, but this verse is a reminder that as a bride, the process of being washed by the convicting and purifying word of God is vital. 

Being cleansed by the word means getting rid of anything that is standing between you and the Lord and purifying your motives with the help of the Holy Spirit. The word of God has a way of exposing our motives as it convicts, sharpens, and calls our hearts to holiness. This process is something I feel is extremely important before marrying another person! Our motives can tend to be self-focused and can at times be ungodly; allowing the word to clean us and strip of our selfish desires is a constant, ongoing process we must engage in as we prepare ourselves to be presented as the bride of Christ. No matter what mistakes we have made, no matter what competing loves or desires we have had, the word of God that calls us to repentance gives life and washes us clean before the marriage of the body to Christ. 

I realized as I have read this verse and prayed it over myself that my greatest desire is not to be just wearing a white dress on my wedding day, but to actually be as the verse says, without spot or wrinkle or any such thing, that she might be holy and without blemish." I desire to allow the Lord to wash me with the cleansing power of His word and present me a pure and holy bride to Paul. As a bride, I view this process as such a privilege because it directly mirrors how the Lord desires to prepare us for our heavenly marriage to Him. As I prepare my heart and spirit to marry in the physical realm on earth, I desire that my spirit be prepared, strengthened, and readied for my heavenly marriage to the Lamb. 

Revelation 19:7-9

Let us rejoice and exalt and give him the glory, for the marriage of the Lamb has come, and his Bride has made herself ready; it was granted her to clothe herself with fine linen, bright and pure— for the fine linen is the righteous deeds of the saints. And the angel said to me, “Write this: Blessed are those who are invited to the marriage supper of the Lamb.” And he said to me, “These are the true words of God.”

This verse in Revelation has been another one I have been using to pray through this process of becoming and being a bride that abides. I love this verse because it begins with rejoicing!! Rejoicing because the marriage of the Lamb has come! In this time of preparation, I want to be a bride full of joy and anticipation for my wedding day, the day I meet my bridegroom face to face and become one with him. Despite the many planning items and life changes that are coming, my heart is overwhelmed with the promise that is being fulfilled in my life as I marry Paul. I want to be a bride that abides in the rejoicing posture of making myself ready for my groom!

What a privilege it is to be invited to the marriage supper of the Lamb! Preparing yourself for the bridegroom means adorning yourself with things of the Kingdom and letting all things of the world be stripped away. There is a process of setting yourself apart and making yourself ready for a life with one focus--joining in the marriage supper of the Lamb. His bride is not adorned with just the outward pieces of bright beauty, but she is dressed with the internal and eternal righteousness and purity that comes from a life of obeying the commands of Jesus. Jesus has given us the key to participation in the marriage supper as He was the sacrificial Lamb that came to show us the way to embracing our role as His bride. Let us exalt Him and give Him glory for the opportunity to lay down our lives and receive our rightful place with Him at the marriage supper!

Isaiah 62:5

For as a young man marries a young woman, so shall your sons marry you, and as the bridegroom rejoices over the bride, so shall your God rejoice over you.

Let Him rejoice over you with singing. Let Him woo you and pursue you. Allow yourself to be pursued. I love this verse because it is such a sweet reminder that our God delights in us as His bride. This idea is something I had to submit to when it came to allowing Paul to pursue me. When desiring to save yourself for your groom, it can be tempting to be distant and unapproachable as a defense for staying pure when in reality you are trying to protect and guard yourself from hurt by rejecting love. Some people can struggle with this in their relationship with the Lord too. They don't want to allow Him to get too close out of fear that they may get hurt. They may not fully know or understand the extravagant love that God has for them which prevents them from fully becoming a bride that abides. Being a bride that abides means letting your guard down and allowing the Groom to pursue your heart. It means allowing your heavenly husband to fully embrace you and rejoice in you who He has chosen and loved from the beginning of time. 

As a bride, we also desire to be pursued. The bride of Christ has been fully pursued by Jesus as He fought back the grips of death and overcame the power of the grave to rescue His helpless bride and set her free. This is the ultimate act of pursuit and unconditional love. Yet, Jesus as the perfect bridegroom and the most loving friend, continues to pursue us and enchant us with His words of affirmation and the gracious love He lavishes on us. Being a bride that abides feels easy when my eyes are focused on Him and His love. His love strips me of every unhealthy expectation of what my wedding day should look like and narrows my focus on the One who truly makes all things beautiful.

1 Peter 2:9

But you are a chosen people, a royal priesthood, a holy nation, God’s special possession, that you may declare the praises of him who called you out of darkness into his wonderful light.

Being a bride that abides looks like remembering who chose you and who calls you His bride. God calls us His special possession and His holy nation. This title is not one we have worked up to on our own, but it is simply God's heart for His people. His heart is that we know we are chosen by Him, pursued by His heart, and fully desired by our heavenly Bridegroom. This bridal identity is true of each and every believer! 

We are chosen, set apart, and holy unto God. This means we must live that way as His bride. We are called to lay aside the desires of the flesh and the expectations of the world to seek and pursue our beautiful Bridegroom Jesus. Jesus makes it very clear that He is not looking for a bride with mixture, but a purified and sanctified church that is madly in love with Him. He is not coming back to find the ones who are complacent and dulled and silent, but He is coming for the ones who are on fire with passionate desire for Him and His righteousness. We must make it our conscious effort and prayer to be separated from the world and set apart for God's Kingdom. We must leave our lesser lovers behind. We must not settle but hold out for the One who is coming back for us; the One whom the angels can't help but respond in singing "Holy, holy, holy!"

Jeremiah 2:2

Go and proclaim in the hearing of Jerusalem, Thus says the Lord, “I remember the devotion of your youth, your love as a bride, how you followed me in the wilderness, in a land not sown."

We must keep our bridal love on! Not just leading up to the wedding day but every day we have breath in our lungs. This truth is a great reminder for those who are marrying in the physical sense as well. Brides and grooms can get so infatuated with the idea of getting married and starting a life together, but soon after the wedding the feelings fade and the love they had at first starts to draw them away from their chosen one to lesser lovers. They forget the passionate and covenantal love that was what they were called to and drawn to at first, and they sell their holy desires for unholy ones. Unfortunately, this can be how it looks for those being called the bride of Christ as well. We get so excited and set on fire when we first encounter the love of God, but it can be tempting to lose sight of that love when seasons change and life gets busy. We can forget the love and devotion we had at first and become a bride filled with mixture distracted by the lesser loves that lead to destruction. 

Being the bride of Christ means always looking to our bridegroom for direction and guidance. Just as the husband is the head of the family, Christ is the head of the church and should be the one we look to for what is next. He is not a dictator seeking to control and manipulate, but He is a ruler who reigns and rules over our hearts. His rightful position in our lives is our Bridegroom King who woos us with His lovingkindness and who we must also trust to direct and guide us in the wilderness. 

The most defining characteristic of the bridal spirit is her devotion and longing for her Bridegroom. Her spirit, soul, and body are completely overtaken by a lovesickness for her Holy King. She does not sit back and wait aimlessly for Him to come for her; she makes her love known by pursuing His heart. She shows her devotion by pouring out her love to Him in whatever way she can. She cannot hold back her tongue from singing love songs to Him day after day; she cannot hold back her body from falling at His feet daily. She lays down everything she has for the sake of loving Him and being loved by Him. Just like Mary, she is unaware and unfazed by the competing desires because her heart is burning to see her Groom and experience His love in complete fullness. Oh how my heart starts to be stirred when I think about this kind of love that Jesus yearns for from us. Our Bridegroom Jesus is desperate for a bride that loves Him like this, and this revelation can shift our earthly perspective of love to heavenly one real quick! I pray my heart continues to grow and deepen in a desperate desire to love, long for, and devote myself to the One who intercedes for His bride to wake up and realize all she is called to be. 

I am so thankful for this season of preparing my heart for marriage and preparing my spirit for continued sanctification in being the spotless bride of Christ I am called to be. I pray that each one who reads this will be encouraged to seek first their heavenly Bridegroom and remember their identity as a chosen one of His. I also pray that if you are a woman, single or married, that this post speaks especially to your heart. What an honor it is to be a representation of the bride of Christ in a physical sense to our future or current husbands! I challenge each of you to search God's heart to discover how you can reflect God's vision for His bride and bring your bridal passion to the Church! Your beauty, purity, and deep desire for your groom is a testimony and reflection of who we are called to be as Christ's bride. I pray this blog is a reminder of the immeasurably more life, love, passion, and purity there is in being a bride that abides in Jesus. 

❤ Melissa