The Kingdom is a Culture of Vulnerability

           Hey friends! It has been a while since I wrote a blog, and I am going to be honest...life has been getting the best of me and I haven't made the time or had the discipline to sit down and write the things God has been putting on my heart! But here I am, back again and ready to release some of the truth the Lord has for you and for me to bring freedom and healing to our lives! 

           When I was asking the Lord what He wanted me to write a blog on this time, I thought maybe He would say to write about our recent engagement or the revelations He has been giving me about being the bride of Christ in this season. However, as soon as I took the time to wait on Him, I heard Him speak the word vulnerability. Vulnerability is a topic I have been waiting to talk about on the blog, and I have actually had a rough draft of one written on this topic for a few months. I felt the Lord wanting me to wait to release it in the right timing and I pray that I am being obedient in releasing it now. 

     Vulnerability is something the Lord opened my eyes to in my DTS in Kona this past January. Among many conversations and teachings we had throughout the 10 weeks, one of my biggest takeaways overall was the culture of vulnerability that is possible and should be seen in the body of Christ. We had a week in DTS when a couple came and spoke to us about the love of the Father's heart and His desire for us to walk in full freedom with Him. I talked about this experience in a previous blog. 

"The third week was focused on the Father heart of God. Kumu and Mel Vasconcellos spoke this week and it was amazing to watch them teach in partnership with the Holy Spirit. This week was one of the most impactful for me in so many ways...During this week, there was an anointing on our class for vulnerability. I experienced a vulnerability with a body of believers in a deeper way than I ever have before and the freedom the Holy Spirit released was so evident and brought tears to my eyes on many occasions! We talked through the power of forgiveness and letting go of any bitterness or offense we carry. We wrestled through the effects of unforgiveness and how it can hinder our ability to hear the voice of God. We learned about the power of confessing our sins to another believer and the power confession has in being completely healed.

James 5:16 "Therefore confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed. The prayer of a righteous person is powerful and effective." 

Jesus set me completely free from the power of shame during these sessions!! There was a root of shame I had been carrying that I didn't even realize I had until we were challenged to confess our darkest sin and shame to a staff member in the school. God again revealed to me that He wants me free. He wants me free from anything that comes against my life to hinder me from walking out in the fullness of who He made me to be. He wants me free from any small reminder the enemy wants to use of my past life and my old nature and invites me to stand in complete freedom. He invites me to confess my sin and shame and warrant it powerless by the blood of my Savior. I want to be the purest expression of the image of God. I want to be in the form of my original design because this is how Jesus has always intended me to be. I want to cut off any false identities, roots of sin and shame, and hindrances that the enemy has tried to place over my life so that I may run freely with the Lord and be the true representation of His nature through my life on earth.

           Jesus died and took on all of our sin and shame so that we could walk completely free from it. These things no longer have a hold on us if we are willing to expose light to the dark and vulnerable places and invite Jesus to have the victory in our lives. Oh what a joy it is to live in freedom. Won't you let Him do it for you too??"

           This excerpt shows the real and raw excitement I experienced after receiving the complete freedom from shame that Jesus purchased! Praise the Lord! It was incredible to see the body of Christ surround each other with forgiveness and acceptance. People got up to share their darkest sin with our class of over 100 people because JESUS Himself was in the room. Jesus gave people the courage and the permission to release their shame and receive the unconditional love we are called to extend in the body of Christ. Never before have I experienced such a powerful time of freedom and a people that were so willing to lay down their pride and reputation for the sake of their freedom and the freedom of others. After seeing the effects of this kind of Kingdom culture of vulnerability, I couldn't help but tell my close friends and family about all the Lord was doing. Paul and I were in our second month of dating at this point and were building our relationship long distance. The Lord was so faithful during this time, and it was truly the biggest blessing to share the revelations and the freedom I was receiving during this time with him. After this week on vulnerability, I felt the Lord wanting me to tell Paul about the deeper parts of my heart, the darkest sin and shame I had carried since being a little girl. I felt the Lord wanting me to share with him about the uprooted shame I had just gotten free from. 

            Some back story to this journey is that when I was young I walked into some sin unknowingly and quickly walked out of it once my eyes were opened to the reality of the sin. The sin was something I never really struggled to get free from, but the shame the sin brought into my heart was the battle I fought FOR YEARS. I confessed my sin and shame to my mom in high school and felt I received more freedom from the taunting thoughts, but the shame kept me believing I could never tell anyone else I had struggled. I remember thinking as a young girl growing up, "I will tell me mom about this and MAYBE my husband one day, but only when we're married and no one else." The enemy constantly left me believing I could never bring it fully into the light because of what people might think of me, and I really thought that part of my story would stay hidden in shame forever. 

           THAT IS, until the Light of my life broke through!!! Guys, Jesus is so good and is powerful enough to break the chains we have carried for years and never thought we could get freedom from! He is able to silence the taunting, nagging thoughts of the enemy in just one minute. I reflect on the act we took in YWAM of sharing our sin with a staff member; it literally took less than a minute to share the sin and shame I carried and I immediately felt a release and a new level of freedom. Literally in less than a minute Jesus' love washed over 18 years of shame and struggle! How crazy is His love! 

           When Paul came to visit me in Hawaii in February, the Lord brought us through a day of fasting together and broke through in our relationship in a powerful way. We sat on the beach and I told him about the parts of myself that I wasn't proud of. I told him about the sins of my past and the shame I carried growing up because of it. I shared how I struggled alone for a long time listening to the taunting thoughts of the enemy, feeling free in my spirit through my salvation, but bound up in this specific area of my life. And THEN, after sharing all of that, I got to proclaim the complete freedom the Lord had brought me into during this process at YWAM! I got to tell him about the shame that had broken off my heart when I confessed my sin and shame. I got to share the power of vulnerability with him. And as they say, "vulnerability begets vulnerability." After I finished laying my heart open before him, Paul shared with me his struggles as well. He shared the powerful ways Jesus has brought deep freedom in his life too! I can honestly say leaving that beach in Hawaii our relationship was never the same. I have never felt so close to someone in my life! So fully known and fully loved. That day unlocked something in our relationship and set a foundation for us of vulnerability, honesty, and transparency that I believe is a manifestation of the Kingdom of God and a distinctive characteristic of a godly, Holy Spirit-filled relationship. The pictures on this blog are some we took on that sweet day of vulnerability we shared together. The rock is from the beach we sat on, and we have it to serve as a symbol of remembrance, an Ebenezer, that will always remind us of the freedom we have in Jesus and the power of vulnerability! God is so good!  

           Just to drive the point home that JESUS IS SO GOOD, I reflected back on this experience and realized that Jesus had used something I had always felt shame about and always thought I would have to keep hidden to bring about breakthrough in my relationship with my future husband (although I didn't know he was at the time, talk about a leap of faith 😉). He used something so difficult in my life to bring about the deeper spiritual and emotional intimacy that he desired to see manifest in Paul and I's relationship. Jesus used the enemy's schemes and his taunting thoughts that I battled for years to bring about beauty, goodness, and health in my life and my relationship. I could feel the frustration of the enemy as he realized his plan had failed and the victory and freedom that Jesus died for had won AGAIN! And I know Jesus will continue to use my testimony to bring about freedom from shame in other people's lives too and that makes the struggle completely worth it! To see other children of God walk into a Kingdom culture of vulnerability and receive healing is all so worth it. 

           The Church NEEDS to carry a culture of vulnerability. Being vulnerable and exposing your deepest thoughts and struggles is not a part of the culture of the world. The world likes to keep the dark things in secret, and the enemy uses this to let sin and shame fester and keep people bound. We are seeing this scheme on display throughout our world in these days. I believe many in the Church at large have fallen into the ways of the world and have disguised, hidden, and dealt with the effects of sin and shame for way too long! We, as believers, are a part of the KINGDOM OF GOD. I believe the people of the world and the people of the Church alike are starving for vulnerability, transparency, and unconditional love! People are longing for genuine community. 

           Bringing things into the light relinquishes the power the enemy tries to have over us. The enemy loves the darkness. He loves to lie and trick and steal from us in the darkness. He likes to make us think that we are the only ones who struggle in the darkness-- the only ones who think the things we do and do the things we do in secret. There is one thing I learned while hearing the vulnerable confessions of believers at YWAM, Satan is not creative. He uses the same tactics on all of us, yet he somehow tricks us into believing we are the only ones. But when one person decides to turn on the Light and expose themselves in a certain area, others around are able to see that Light is possible in this area. People's eyes are opened to the reality that freedom from shame is possible. 

In your hand you hold the key not only to your own freedom, but you hold the ability to declare a JAIL BREAK for others around you by the obedience and vulnerability you walk in. 

           So if you needed that push or reason to be vulnerable here it is! Create a kingdom culture where you are. A Kingdom culture is not one that celebrates or focuses on the struggle or the sin; it is one that rejoices in the victory over the exposure and overcoming of the sin.

Ephesians 5:8-14
"...for at one time you were darkness, but now you are light in the Lord. Walk as children of light (for the fruit of light is found in all that is good and right and true), and try to discern what is pleasing to the Lord. Take no part in the unfruitful works of darkness, but instead expose them. For it is shameful even to speak of the things that they do in secret. But when anything is exposed by the light, it becomes visible, or anything that becomes visible is light. Therefore it says, 

"Awake, O sleeper, 

and arise from the dead, 

and Christ will shine on you."

            Wake up sleeper!! Awake from your sleep that has allowed the darkness to become your normal and rise! Christ will shine on you! 

           Expose the darkness and you can use the Light as a torch. What you expose becomes a light to set others free. Your struggle, the thing the enemy meant for evil and shame in your life, has now become the light of your testimony and something the Lord can use for your good and for the good of others. NOW is the time to take advantage of the opportunity you have to expose your sin and shame because the days are evil. We have been called children of the LIGHT so it is time we walk fully into the light and live in that place. It is time we abide in that place. It is time we make our home in that place because when the next sin or struggle comes we will know we have the key to unlock the freedom Jesus bought and paid for.  

           When you confess and pray, you will be healed. It is a promise! He will fulfill His promises to you now until forever. Thank you Jesus for teaching us how to live in a culture of the Kingdom. Thank you for showing us what it looks like to be in deep and healthy relationship with our brothers and sisters in Christ. Thank you for giving us the keys to freedom in Your Word. Thank You for wanting complete freedom for us and showing us the beauty of freedom from shame. Thank You for taking on every ounce of our sin and shame Jesus. Thank You for giving us an immeasurably more life that is far better than all we could ask or imagine!

Vulnerability is a manifestation of Kingdom culture!!

♥ Melissa